I'm really glad I got a chance to relax this weekend, 'cause sure enough, I had to hit the ground running this morning. This is not a complaint, it's just a reflection of the fact that I have a very dynamic job. I'm very greatful that I get to do work in clinical research every day that I enjoy, that challenges me, and where we have the opportunity to help to advance science, and possibly even save lives.
Needless to say, by the time I arrive home, some days it becomes obvious that my brain has punched out for the day. And this is where it would be awesome to have my own personal super hero. But I'm not talking about a Thor- all beauty, no brains. That would not be useful for the long term. In my want ad, I would list qualities that are much more important...
Wanted: One personal superhero. Male. Needed: ability to lift heavy objects, fix stuff that's broken, open jars, and build stuff that needs building. Should not be squeemish about killing flying bugs, spiders, or mice when needed. Mows lawn regularly and can trouble-shoot when the mower doesn't start. Takes out garbage. I'm a girl. Of course I can take out my own garbage, and have always done so, even when I was married. But to not HAVE to always be the one would make me incredibly happy. I'm sorry if that makes me sound sexist.
Here's another one: ability to grow facial hair. My superhero doesn't have to sport any, (in fact, full-on mountain man level would probably be too much) just have the ability to grow it, like if you're in the woods for a week, you should have some stubble. For some inexplicable reason, this increases my confidence level in your ability to protect me, like if a bear tried to attack me, you could just step right in there and take care of it. Of course, I suppose gun skills would be helpful too. To protect me from wild mountain lions or zombies, and get us dinner if we were lost on an island. NOT to get drunk and shoot holes in the side of a barn. Just thought I'd clarify.
Two words: gives occasional back rubs. Or is that one? Backrub. Either way.
Must have good work ethic, and be kind and generous in spirit. Does the right thing even when it's not easy or popular.
Should be smart enough to help me answer crossword puzzles. I rarely do them, but if I was suddenly forced to be on a game show, I'd want you to be one of my lifelines that I could call.
Good with kids and wait staff. Even though my child is grown, she will still be around from time to time, and lots of my friends and family have kids. And if you don't treat wait staff with respect, they can mess with your food.
Sense of humor would be good, though on a good day I may have us both covered. Of course, you will find it useful in putting up with me. Patience would also be a valuable quality to possess.
Ability to cook optional, though would be highly valued, especially in my two weakest areas: grilling and following recipes.
Control freaks, narcissists, bigots, and bullies need not apply.
ADDENDUM: The best part of this rather silly post, is the conversation it generated with my 19 year old sci-fi fan-girl daughter aferward.
Amanda: You have to take the facial hair qualifier out. It's not rational. I mean, look at Hurley (on Lost); he couldn't save you from a bear attack and he's got all kinds of facial hair.
Me: You're right.
Amanda: Ooh, I know someone who meets all those super hero qualities you're looking for.
Me: Really? Who?
Amanda: Dumbledore.
Me: (Laughter. Pause.) I don't believe I've ever known him to handle a gun. He couldn't get me dinner from the woods.
Amanda: Dude, he's got a wand. Just has to swish it. There's your dinner.
Me: I dunno. I think he may be missing some impoartnt qualities I didn't mention, because it's not that kind of blog.
Amanda: What about the 10th Doctor?
Me: Hmmm. Wait. I know. Daniel, from Stargate SG1, after season 1.
Amanda: Right. Except he dies alot.
Me: I'm beginning to see the problem with advertising for a personal super hero. The potentially qualified applicants all seem to be fictional.
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